Being yourself

We all just want to be accepted for who we are.
We all want to be able to be ourselves without having to worry about what people think of us.

Unfree world/Unfreie Welt

I see this world as a (very) unfree world. Many people also call it "the matrix" (this man-made (inhumane-seeming) system in which we live). We have to do things that we don't want to do, we have to learn things at school that we don't want to learn (and which we don't even need to know (except for exams)), there is pressure to perform, etc. We also have to ensure that we secure our existence as human beings (enough income to keep a roof over our heads, enough food, etc.). None of this exists in the animal world, for example (I am mainly referring here to the financial aspect).
What I simply wish for is freedom and peace, but that is not possible in this matrix.

As a free spirit, it is very difficult to get by in this world because of all the things that are imposed on us (especially financially). Although I am glad that I am financially secure, this world still feels unfree to me.

Although I still manage to get by in this world, this seemingly inhumane system still seems strange to me.

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Ich empfinde diese Welt als eine (sehr) unfreie Welt. Viele Menschen nennen sie auch „die Matrix“ (dieses menschengemachte (menschenfeindlich wirkende) System, in dem wir leben). Wir müssen Dinge tun, die wir nicht tun wollen, wir müssen in der Schule Dinge lernen, die wir nicht lernen wollen (und die wir (außer für Prüfungen) gar nicht wissen müssen), es herrscht Leistungsdruck etc. Wir müssen auch dafür sorgen, dass wir unsere Existenz als Menschen absichern (genug Einkommen, um ein Dach über dem Kopf zu haben, genug Essen usw.). Nichts davon gibt es z. B. in der Tierwelt (also ich beziehe mich hier hauptsächlich auf das Finanzielle).

Was ich mir einfach wünsche, ist Freiheit und Frieden, aber das ist in dieser Matrix nicht möglich.

Als Freigeist ist es sehr schwer, in dieser Welt zurechtzukommen, aufgrund all der Dinge, die uns (vor allem finanziell) aufgezwungen werden. Obwohl ich froh bin, dass ich finanziell abgesichert bin, fühlt sich diese Welt für mich trotzdem unfrei an.
Ich schaffe es zwar trotzdem, in dieser Welt klarzukommen, befremdlich ist mir dieses menschenfeindlich wirkende System dennoch.

Therapies and medications

 I am very critical of therapies that deal with the human psyche, although I don't mean to say that they are fundamentally wrong for everyone.

I have very little experience with therapists, but whenever I have been to therapists I have never felt comfortable during or after therapy, so it is not the right thing for me.

The same applies to medications that have an effect on the human psyche (psychotropic drugs, neuroleptics, etc.).

I don't take them myself because I don't want to be dependent on such medications and because they (can) have side effects.

But it may be that there are people who need such medications (at least they think they need them), although I don't think much of the pharmaceutical industry (it's a money-making machine).

I prefer to talk to people with whom I have a basis of trust, to whom I mean something and who mean something to me.

In addition, the relationship between client and therapist is always purely professional. A therapist is never a substitute for a good friend.

I regret nothing

 I don't regret anything I've done in this life so far. I don't even regret letting people treat me badly. Those were all just experiences that made me mature. Sometimes you run into the fire and ignore the warning signs, but today I'm wide awake and can see who is good for me and who isn't.

Of course, I have been traumatized as a human being (like all of us, more or less), but what I really am, what we really are, is indestructible and cannot be or become traumatized. 🔥💙

Thoughts

 If you harm someone, you only harm yourself. Those who harm others will (sooner or later) get to feel this. I have often heard that everything is supposedly one, that everything is supposedly connected, but to protect ourselves we distance ourselves from people who are not good for us or who harm us. We don't sympathize with everyone.

Often in life (at least in my case) it is the case that at the beginning of our contact with someone we feel sympathy for them, have the feeling that we are on the same wavelength, but only over time you really get to know people and realize that you were wrong about them.

People who don't appreciate you don't deserve you. You can always tell yourself that you are their loss and not vice versa. If they really appreciated you, they wouldn't treat you badly and wouldn't make them lose you. Only keep people in your life who appreciate you, because only they are worth your time and energy.

An alle/To everyone

 An alle, die meinen Blog mitverfolgen:

Bitte nicht wundern, wenn von mir länger nichts kommt. Mein Leben besteht nicht nur aus dem Internet, sondern ich bin auch sehr beschäftigt mit meiner Arbeit und mit Projekten. Es macht mir Spaß, diesen Blog zu führen und es freut mich, wenn ich Menschen mit meinen Beiträgen bewegen und helfen kann. Ich gebe nicht mehr so viel wie früher von mir preis, da ich leider sehr ausgenutzt worden bin (leider auch von Menschen, denen ich mal sehr vertraut habe). Ich schenke meine Zeit und Energie nur noch den Menschen, die es auch wirklich verdient haben.

Alles Liebe euch! 💙

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To everyone who follows my blog:

Please don't be surprised if you don't hear anything from me for a while. My life isn't just about the internet, I'm also very busy with my work and projects. I enjoy running this blog and I'm happy when I can move and help people with my posts. I don't reveal as much about myself as I used to because I've unfortunately been taken advantage of a lot (unfortunately even by people I once trusted a lot). I only give my time and energy to people who really deserve it.

All the best to you! 💙

Suicide/Suizid

 I have wanted to take my own life several times and have no problem talking or writing about it. However, I have never attempted suicide. I am not going to share the reasons for my suicidal thoughts here (I don't have suicidal thoughts at the moment).

My gut feeling is that suicide is not the right way to go. A good friend of mine took his own life this year. It's always sad, but I don't judge people who commit suicide because I know these unpleasant feelings that can cause suicidal thoughts and suicide.

But I can't imagine that suicide means liberation because if it were that easy, you could avoid all the crap that you experience as a human being.

If you have suicidal thoughts or want to commit suicide:

PLEASE seek help if you can't do it alone! You are also welcome to write to me.

Ich wollte mir schon öfter das Leben nehmen und habe kein Problem damit, darüber zu sprechen bzw. zu schreiben. Allerdings habe ich noch nie einen Suizidversuch gemacht. Die Gründe für meine Suizidgedanken (die ich derzeit nicht habe) äußere ich hier nicht.

Mein Gefühl sagt mir einfach, dass Suizid nicht der richtige Weg ist. Ein guter Freund von mir hat sich dieses Jahr das Leben genommen. Es ist immer traurig, aber ich verurteile solche Menschen nicht, da ich diese unangenehmen Gefühle ja selbst kenne, die Suizidgedanken bzw. Suizid verursachen können.

Ich kann mir aber nicht vorstellen, dass Suizid die Befreiung bedeutet, denn wenn es so einfach wäre, könnte man sich den ganzen Mist, den man als Mensch erlebt, ja sparen.

Falls ihr Suizidgedanken habt bzw. Suizid begehen möchtest:

BITTE sucht euch Hilfe, wenn ihr es nicht alleine schafft! Ihr könnt auch gerne mit mir schreiben.

Our film 🙂🎬

 I'm excited to see what our film will be like. It was really cool working with you again. 🙂🎬

Zu weich, zu sensibel, zu empfindlich für dieses Leben! 🌻💚

He speaks from my soul. 💙🔥

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-U1TOXlg44

Strange journey

 The strange journey of my soul. 🌌🔥💙

Life

 Life is a dream,

without beginning

and without end.

🔥

Alone

 You are not alone. 💙🔥

Belief/Glaube

Perhaps our belief about whether something is harmful or not has an influence on us.

Vielleicht hat unser Glaube daran, ob uns etwas schadet oder nicht, einen Einfluss auf uns.

Angst, Depression: Warum nehmen psychische Erkrankungen zu? | Sternstunde Philosophie | SRF Kultur

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOPl3SqYLmk

 

Life

I only want people in my life who want me in theirs.

Drugs

You may be able to numb (unpleasant) feelings with drugs (no matter what kind of drugs), but drugs are not a solution for all problems.

Evil/Das Böse

 No power to evil.

Keine Macht dem Bösen.

Death

I'm so glad that everything will be fine for me after death (no matter how I die). 💙

Beautiful

It felt beautiful with her. 💙

Love

 Love 💙

Career

Sometimes I wonder if I have chosen the right career, but at least it secures my existence here. 🏠💰

Real ones

Only real people with good hearts belong in my life, not people who behave badly and fake.

Thoughts/Gedanken

I don't wish anything bad on anyone, but I wish that they feel the way they made me feel, that they experience what I had to experience because of them.

You can't escape yourself. Good comes to good and evil comes to evil. Anyone who causes suffering and pain to “others” will experience the same thing (possibly even more than he/she did to “others”).

Once you have truly lost me, you have lost me for the rest of this life, possibly even beyond, whatever happens after this life (whether something or nothing).

I would never intentionally harm anyone, but I may hurt back if I am (severely) injured, although I am very pacific and reject any form of violence.

I'm very good-natured, patient and will sometimes give people a chance (maybe even more than one), but if you've really messed up with me, then you've totally messed up with me.

It's sad that people aren't always the way you see them (in the beginning). Maybe you just want to see the good in people because you yourself have a good heart and assume that they are not (that much) different from you.

It's strange that you feel or have felt strong connections with people who have done you so bad. Apparently I was or am a magnet for such people (but maybe not anymore).

Whether someone stays in my heart or not is entirely up to you.

Ich wünsche niemandem etwas Schlechtes, aber ich wünsche ihnen, dass sie sich so fühlen müssen, wie ich mich durch sie fühlen musste, dass sie das erfahren müssen, was ich wegen ihnen erfahren musste.

Man kann sich selbst nicht entkommen. Das Gute kommt zum Guten und das Böse kommt zum Bösen. Wer "anderen" Leid und Schmerz zufügt, wird dasselbe erfahren (eventuell sogar noch stärker, als er/sie es "anderen" angetan hat).

Wer mich einmal wirklich verloren hat, der hat mich für den Rest dieses Lebens verloren, eventuell sogar darüber hinaus, was auch immer nach diesem Leben sein wird (ob nun etwas oder nichts).

Ich würde niemals jemandem mit Absicht schaden, aber es kann sein, dass ich zurück verletze, wenn ich (schwer) verletzt werde, wobei ich sehr pazifistisch bin und jede Form von Gewalt ablehne.

Ich bin sehr gutmütig, geduldig und gebe Menschen eventuell eine Chance (vielleicht sogar mehr als nur eine), aber wenn man es sich wirklich mit mir verspielt hat, dann hat man es sich auch komplett mit mir verspielt.

Es ist traurig, dass Menschen nicht immer so sind, wie man sie (am Anfang) sieht. Vielleicht will man einfach das Gute in Menschen sehen, weil man selbst ein gutes Herz hat und davon ausgeht, dass sie nicht (so viel) anders als man selbst sind.

Es ist seltsam, dass man starke Verbindungen mit Menschen spürt bzw. gespürt hat, die einem so schlecht getan haben. Scheinbar war oder bin ich ein Magnet für solche Menschen (aber eventuell nicht mehr).

Ob jemand in meinem Herzen bleibt oder nicht, liegt ganz an einem selbst.

Revenge

 I don't take revenge on people who treated me badly. Everyone gets what they deserve (for better or for worse).

Psychotropic drugs

I'm not saying that psychotropic drugs are fundamentally bad, but I don't want to be dependent on them. I've always managed to live without psychotropic drugs and I want to continue to live without them. I wouldn't want side effects and I wouldn't want them to have a negative impact on me. They may help some people, but the pharmaceutical industry is a big money machine and I don't want to support it. I also doubt that every single one of these diagnoses really exists.

I also tried to get people off psychotropic drugs because I wanted to help them, but maybe there are people who need them, but I find psychotropic drugs questionable.

A work colleague of mine is taking medication (or medications) for psychosis. Maybe he needs it because psychosis isn't funny, but I still find these medications questionable.

Sympathie/Sympathy

 Mich muss man nicht mögen. Es reicht, wenn es die Richtigen tun. 😉💙

You don't have to like me. It's enough if the right people do it. 😉💙

Mistakes

 If I could undo things I've done, I would, but that seems impossible. I do not regret the mistakes I have made in this life (mistakes are human). I'm just glad I'm no longer giving my time and energy to the wrong people. Ultimately, the people who treated me badly and who let me down also taught me something (among other things, that I would never want to be like them, but I always knew that anyway).

Warm-hearted women

 Warm-hearted women 🙂💙🔥

Justice

 I am convinced that they will have to go through everything that you had to go through because of them. I believe that they must experience all the suffering that you experienced because of them.